Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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