So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
