I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
