Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize