They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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