My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
