When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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