are you still at the devil's house?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
