She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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