dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
