My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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