too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
