I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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