It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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