oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
