Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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