so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
