shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
