sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm at about main and main street
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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