I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't deserve a penis
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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