In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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