how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So here I am, sexting at work.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
