I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
