it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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