just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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