Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
