nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
