We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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