She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i've created a new STD.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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