I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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