Screwed.edu
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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