That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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