What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
