Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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