I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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