just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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