i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
