I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
