So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
