Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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