She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
