so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
