I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
