my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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