I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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