I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
