Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
