i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
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On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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