I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
