my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
why is half of my head shaved?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
