i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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