No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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