dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Fuck appropriateness.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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