you would pick up someone in the library
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
