I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
