Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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