u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize