dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
