I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
