I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
They took my balls.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
