Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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