I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
